paper thin.
Sunday 5th Dec 2010
Hi~OMG I'm sorry I've been MIA~
being busy with my father and my sister is back home~
Have watched Skyline, Rapunzel, and Narnia 3D last week. have a movie marathon 2 movies on 1 night. i think its a little too much to catch up after that. too many movies at once. anyhow~ do ring me for another round of Rapunzel and Narnia please, i was late about 20minutes on the start for both movie. uhh how did it happen? don't mention it.
recently i often feel like this picture. EXACTLY.
how should i put these feelings in words?
i don't know...
i slept with a smile on yesterday night.. waking up realizing that i dreamed of you. i pull you, you walked off. that made me doubt everything again.
that is also why i dont have confidence to begin new with him...
6th Dec 2010
woke up at 11am.. empty screen.. fall back asleep and woke up at 2pm, empty screen. every half an hour, empty screen. 4.29pm something pop out. 7pm.. empty screen. every 20 minute..empty screen. 8pm..empty screen.
Menn came and fetch me around 8:30pm, got in the car and found out she's on the phone with JWei.. drove over to his house, waited for him to bathe ~ plan changed from D'Rich,SS2 to Snowflake, Sunway Giza. Menn suggest that we go to Desa Park City~ luckily we got a seat in Snowflake, or not I can't really work with eating in her car =/ ..
JWei drove to DPC!! yeahh.. scare the hell out of me, when he suddenly break so hard for fun. == the whole driving-time ever since I step into her car reminds me of you. who speeds?..right? especially when JWei tried to speed on the high way...
10pm..lost patient. I sent a text message. 10:10pm..empty screen. purposely wrote something on my FB wall..yet, empty screen. 10:38pm..empty screen. I'm practically losing my mind there. shut my volume & vibration down. so wanted to shut the whole damn phone. or maybe just throw it into the pond. 11pm.. empty screen, reached home. headache.
here I am now. still living half deadly.
When I woke up this morning, I try to recall what have we talk about yesterday. how things have change. how...deep I'm in trouble now. sigh.
I don't know should I invite you into my world. I'm afraid I'll hurt you again. I'm scare of my decision would be wrong again. I don't have any confidence in us now. I have no idea what I want. but... today, you left me like this, and I'm barely breathing every sec. All the down and... emotion. ALL MESSED UP! I don't dare to want you because I'm use to pushing people away. A total loser in confidence. None have succeed to pull me back, gave me reasons and stay by my side, and help me thru all my difficulties. none.. I can't ask this from you..can I?
I pushed you away. but then I can't live without you.
what. on. earth. is. this?!!
MiN ; LexCee
ps : fair enough to call this heart broken?
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